The Marriage Trap: A completely addictive psychological thriller Read online

  ‘I will,’ I say weakly.

  ‘While I’ve got you, though – and I’m sorry to bother you with it while you’re off ill – but do you think I could pick your brains about something?’

  ‘Yes?’ I say warily.

  ‘Those pesky minutes for the last board meeting, you don’t happen to know if the audio tape ever surfaced, do you?’ he asks. ‘It’s just that the board are convening an emergency meeting due to lack of funding and, stupidly, I deleted my notes from my PC once I’d dictated them. We’re going to be a bit lost without them.’

  What? I blink, stupefied. Is he seriously asking me about something that happened aeons ago? In another lifetime, it seems to me now, when my bloody life wasn’t falling apart?

  ‘I don’t know, John,’ I answer, feeling irrationally agitated suddenly. ‘Why don’t you pop over to the admin assistants’ office and ask them?’ As in, assert your authority and stop expecting me to do everything for you.

  ‘Oh well, not to worry.’ He sighs expansively. ‘I’m sure the board members will understand. I think I’ve committed some of it to memory. I’ll just have to wing—’

  ‘Alternatively, you could suggest that the board members drag themselves out of the dark ages and get online?’ I say facetiously over him. ‘You could send the minutes directly yourself then, couldn’t you, instead of having to post them out?’

  Shocked, clearly, John doesn’t speak for a moment, then, ‘Yes, well, thanks for your help, Karla,’ he says abruptly. ‘Like I said, don’t rush back.’

  Then he’s gone. And I realise I might have just lost my job.

  Holding my breath, I stare at my phone, scarcely able to believe what I’ve done. Cold fear settles inside me; a new fear. Fear that I might actually be deranged, intent on self-destruction, annihilating all that is dear to me. My life is falling apart. I’m blaming Jason, blaming my father, but is it me? I’m ruining my life, Jason’s life, my children’s lives. I am losing everything, and I have no idea how to stop it.

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  JASON

  Having collected the kids from school at the end of the day, which he’d being doing for a while, with Karla being either out or out of it, Jason ushered them out of the car. He didn’t mind doing the school runs. They were equally his responsibility, and he didn’t have much to do in the office now that Mark was taking over the reins. He worried that Karla couldn’t see the damage this disruption to their routines was doing though. The damage she was doing to her relationship with them. Wondering what the lie of the land was, how Karla was, since he’d left her, still in bed, this morning, he let the kids into the house before him, closed the front door and then swapped surprised glances with Holly and Josh.

  ‘Mum’s cooking.’ Josh pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at him, puzzled. Given that Karla had been obvious by her absence from the kitchen lately, Jason understood his confusion.

  ‘Smells like meatballs,’ Holly whispered worriedly.

  Picking up the distinct aroma of garlic, onions and tomatoes, Jason guessed Holly was right. She was preparing the kids’ favourite. Damn. He sighed heavily. She might have rung or texted him. How the hell was he going to tell her they’d already eaten?

  ‘We’re going to be in deeeep trouble,’ Josh said, in exaggerated tones. Then he glanced sideways at Holly and sliced his hand demonstratively across his throat.

  ‘Will you grow up,’ Holly snapped irritably, giving him a swift nudge with her elbow.

  ‘Oi, that hurt.’ Josh scowled and rubbed his assaulted arm. ‘Dad, tell her.’

  ‘It was supposed to, moron,’ Holly muttered.

  ‘Kids…’ Jason shot them a warning glance as he dropped their rucksacks onto the hall floor. ‘Now’s not the time.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Holly said, with an apologetic shrug. ‘What do we do?’ she asked, looking nervously up at him.

  ‘We could always pretend to eat it,’ Josh suggested helpfully.

  Holly rolled her eyes and emitted a heavy sigh of despair. ‘A moron, definitely.’

  ‘We could take our rucksacks in,’ Josh went on, unperturbed. ‘And feed the meatballs into them, while she’s not looking.’

  Holly simply stared at him, astounded.

  ‘Nice idea, Josh. Not sure what we’d do with the spaghetti though,’ said Jason. He couldn’t help but quietly smile at the image of Josh trying to feed spaghetti surreptitiously into his school bag, but he felt bad for Karla. She was clearly trying to make an effort.

  ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s go and say hello. Your mum will be okay. We can always have it for dinner tomorrow.’

  Holly didn’t look that convinced, but she nodded maturely and urged Josh on to the kitchen.

  Karla turned from the pan at the stove as they went in. ‘Hi, guys,’ she said, smiling. ‘Good day at school?’

  ’Normal,’ Josh replied with a shrug.

  ‘Did you remember your PE kit?’ Karla gave him a knowing look. Josh tended to be so distracted by his iPad that he had to be told to do everything twice.

  Josh shook his head, his eyes flicking guiltily down and back. ‘No, forgot. It’s okay though. Dad explained.’

  ‘Oh.’ Karla’s smile slipped a little. She didn’t look at Jason, but he guessed she wasn’t impressed with his organisational skills. She was right. He should have reminded Josh last night, though he wasn’t sure he’d actually remembered to wash his kit.

  ‘Holly?’ Karla turned her attention to her. ‘How did your day go?’

  Holly glanced quickly to Jason and back. ‘Okay,’ she said. Then, ‘Did you go to work?’ she asked her.

  Jason sucked in a breath. Holly might only be eleven, but she’d thought that one through. Were things on the road to getting back to normal – that was what she was asking.

  Karla turned back to the pan. ‘Not today, no,’ she said, with an uncomfortable shrug. ‘I cooked your favourite,’ she added, changing the subject. ‘Spaghetti and meatballs.’

  She reached for the herbs and stirred them into the sauce, then went to the oven to pull out the tray of meatballs, while the kids looked uncertainly on.

  Karla glanced back at them. ‘Go and wash up then, you two, and then we can sit down and catch up over our meal.’

  ‘Er, will it keep, do you think?’ Jason intervened, feeling as awkward as the kids looked. ‘It’s just that we’ve already eaten.’

  Halfway through spooning the sauce over the meatballs, Karla stopped. ‘Ah, I see,’ she said tightly. ‘So, what did you have?’ Moderating her tone, she addressed the kids.

  ‘KFC,’ Josh supplied. ‘Dad took us straight from school.’

  ‘Well, that was nice of him. It might have been an idea if Dad had thought to mention it to me, though, mightn’t it.’ Karla placed the pan on the cooker top with a clang.

  ‘Told you.’ Josh sighed wearily, his shoulders slumping as he turned to trudge back to the hall.

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t think,’ Jason offered.

  ‘Obviously.’ Karla reached to grab the spaghetti saucepan from the cooker. ‘Well, the meatballs will keep,’ she said, draining the water into the sink, ‘but spaghetti’s not likely to, is it? Honestly, you might have said, Jason. I mean, was it too much trouble to let me know? Or maybe you’ve already forgotten I exist? You’re bound to be a bit preoccupied, after—’

  She stopped as the kitchen door closed loudly behind Holly.

  ‘Dammit.’ Pressing a hand to her forehead, Karla placed the saucepan down, and then picked it up again and poured the entire contents into the sink. Jason sensed this might well be about to escalate into something. ‘Thanks, Jason,’ she said, chucking the saucepan in too. ‘Point-scoring, are we?’

  ‘For God’s…’ Jason closed his eyes, feeling weary to his soul. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Karla. The kids were hungry. How was I supposed to know you were cooking? You haven’t been here half the time.’

  ‘You could have rung me,’ Karla said. ‘Texted me.’

&nbs
p; Right. Jason shook his head cynically. And she would have answered? He’d texted her a million times – during the day; every evening when she went missing. He’d left messages. She never got back to him.

  ‘But then again, I expect you were a bit busy, weren’t you? Texting your tart!’

  Jesus. Jason said nothing. She had every right. But with the kids nearby? Again? There was no way he was getting into this.

  ‘Where are you going?’ Karla demanded, as he headed for the door.

  ‘To the lounge,’ Jason answered quietly, his back to her. ‘To get a drink. I’m not up for another argument, Karla. Not with the kids in the house. End of.’

  Watching Karla walk past the lounge door to the stairs a minute later, Jason made his drink a large one. Massaging his neck, he sipped slowly, wondering what she might be about to do. He could hear her moving around in the bedroom overhead, but he really had no clue. She was so unpredictable. He hoped she didn’t climb back into bed, crawling under the duvet and staying there, as if she’d given up. He couldn’t stand to see her like that. Couldn’t stand any of it. He had to try to talk to her. If he couldn’t tell her the whole truth about what her father had told him, he had to try to reach out to her. She was hurting and he couldn’t fix it. Though he might not ever have been able to fix things, even if Robert Fenton hadn’t delivered the news he had. Mark hadn’t used his PC while his was running a health check. He was trying to help him out of a hole, he’d told him. Which could only mean that Fenton had. In creating that false browsing history, the bastard had already as good as succeeded in breaking up their marriage anyway, fulfilling his long-held aim to do just that.

  Anger boiling up inside him. Jason knocked his drink back. He needed not to be doing this – drinking too much with the kids to look after. He shouldn’t have got paralytic that night, when he’d figured that if he was being accused of looking for other women, he might as well be. He’d regretted it, wondered what the hell had possessed him. Now though, he was beginning to feel differently. Without Jessie to talk to, he was sure he would have gone half out of his mind.

  Seeing Karla come down again, carrying her holdall, Jason’s gut clenched. Christ. She wasn’t, was she? Going off on one of her jaunts to God only knew where? Some bloody nightclub. Not with girlfriends, he now knew.

  ‘Karla, where are you going?’ he asked her, walking into the hall.

  ‘I told Holly the meal would be all right for tomorrow,’ Karla answered. Unhooking her jacket, she looked back at him, smiling sadly. ‘She’s not speaking to me apparently. Again.’

  Jason’s heart ached for her. ‘Don’t go out, Karla,’ he asked her, growing scared now – for her.

  ‘I have to. I can’t stay here, not tonight. I’ll be back…’ Karla laughed. ‘I was going to say tomorrow, but I suppose you don’t really care one way or the other.’

  ‘Karla, don’t. Please.’ Jason caught her arm as she reached for the door.

  Karla hesitated, and then she turned slowly back to face him. ‘Stop me,’ she said quietly, her eyes glassy with tears. ‘Tell me you love me.’

  THIRTY-EIGHT

  JASON

  With time on his hands now that Mark and Rachel were getting into the swing of running the company, Jason took the opportunity to use the office facilities over the next few days to job hunt. For Karla’s sake, he knew he needed to move on – he would never forget the haunted look in her eyes when she’d asked him to tell her he loved her. Her heart had been breaking. It had cracked his wide open. There was no way he could stay. What was happening between them now was sheer torture.

  He couldn’t envisage actually leaving though. Up until now, he’d had no clue where he would go, what he would do with his life. He’d found himself leaning towards working in Ireland after Jessie’s invitation to spend some time with her in County Carlow, and he’d made a few enquiries. Nothing much had grabbed his attention – his heart really hadn’t been in it. On a whim, he’d called an extreme sports company based in Ireland. Mark and he had holidayed there a few times way back when they were both single with a view to taking microlighting lessons in Kildare. He’d been surprised when they’d rated his knowledge in the extreme sports field and told him they were looking for people on the team-building and corporate events side. It seemed like fate, almost. Yeah, and the way his luck had been lately, Jason couldn’t help wondering what the sting in the tail would be.

  Still, though, it was tempting. If he was going to have any kind of a life, he needed to get away from the lie he’d been living. He had no roots here, none that he wanted to acknowledge, apart from his sister, who he could probably visit as regularly as he did now. The issue, of course, was his kids. There was no way he intended them not to be part of his future. As things stood, however, he had nothing to offer them. He needed to sort out the practicalities: a decent income and somewhere to live.

  Grabbing his mug of coffee, caffeine being the only thing keeping him awake now he was back to not sleeping – Karla hadn’t come home again last night – he stopped as his phone alerted him to an incoming message. Realising it was Jessie, he checked his watch, surprised. They did most of their talking at night, while Jessie was on her breaks at the hospital, just before she went on shift or just after. Shouldn’t she be tucked up in bed about now?

  Taking a gulp of his coffee as he turned his attention to the photo she’d attached, Jason almost spat it out. Bloody hell. Feeling extremely hot under the collar, he perused the selfie slowly – a body shot, giving him a tantalising glimpse of stocking tops. He swallowed hard at the sight of white lace knickers stretched over her hips, above which was the new teasing belly piercing. Jesus. Taking another glug of his coffee, he was about to message her back to tell her that whatever she was trying to do to him, it was working, when his phone rang, almost giving him heart failure.

  ‘Caught you looking,’ Jessie laughed, when he picked up.

  ‘You wear stockings?’ was all Jason could manage.

  ‘Hold-ups,’ Jessie corrected him. ‘For your delectation only. I don’t send explicit pics to everyone, you’ll be pleased to know.’

  ‘Very,’ Jason concurred, smiling. He had no reason to believe her, but somehow he did. There was something about her that was genuine, a lightness that was enticing. To say little of the ‘explicit pic’ she’d just sent him. Jason indulged in erotic thoughts of what he would like to do to her in those hold-ups, preferably with her white nurse’s uniform on. Assailed, then, by the memory of a time he and Karla had indulged in acting out their fantasies, he found himself struggling with a sudden sense of gut-wrenching loss.

  ‘So, did it cheer you up?’ Jessie asked.

  ‘Your timing couldn’t have been better,’ Jason assured her, his voice tight with a combination of deep guilt and grief.

  ‘That bad, hey?’ Jessie’s tone grew sympathetic.

  ‘That bad,’ Jason confirmed, hating himself for it. But the fact was, it couldn’t get any worse.

  Jessie paused. And then, ‘Do you love her?’ She’d asked him once before. Her tone was still sympathetic, as if she got that he was struggling to know how he felt.

  ‘I… don’t know,’ Jason answered honestly. ‘I thought I did. I loved who I thought she was.’

  ‘But not who she is now?’ Jessie finished.

  Jason sighed. ‘Look, Jessie, I know this sounds like the biggest crap cliché ever, but it really is complicated. I don’t even know where to begin to explain.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Jessie, with more than a hint of scepticism.

  Jason sighed again, heavily. ‘Is this where you tell me to piss off and stop wasting your time?’

  ‘I’m considering it,’ Jessie said sternly, causing Jason’s heart to sink. ‘But actually, no,’ she added, her voice back to the light-hearted lilt he loved. ‘I like you. You’ve been honest with me, so I’m trusting you not to mess with my emotions. I wish you’d learn to trust me a little more, though, and share this deep, dark secret about your wife’
s history. I feel kind of… shut out, I suppose.’

  ‘Christ, Jessie, I don’t mean to do that.’ Jason immediately felt bad. ‘It’s just… it’s not something Karla would want me to share.’ He stopped, realising that now he actually did sound like he didn’t trust her.

  Jessie didn’t speak for a second, then, ‘Which I guess tells me my instincts are right. You’re obviously caring, so as you’re going through shit, I’ll stick with you. We’re not doing lifelong commitment here now, after all, are we? Just being friends – with possibilities.’

  Jason breathed a considerable sigh of relief.

  ‘We can sit down and have a good talk when you come over,’ Jessie went on. ‘Hopefully, things won’t seem so complicated then. You are still coming, aren’t you?’

  ‘Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,’ Jason promised. And he meant it. Whatever did or didn’t happen between them, Jessie was a tonic he desperately needed.

  ‘Good,’ she said, sounding pleased. ‘Are you okay for the weekend we discussed?’

  ‘Should be,’ Jason confirmed. Jessie was coming to the UK to see her brother, and he’d made up his mind he was going back with her for a long weekend. He would need to talk to Karla’s mother before then. Christ, that was going to be a difficult conversation if Diana didn’t know what her delightful husband had told him.

  ‘Brilliant,’ Jessie said. ‘You are still coming to pick me up from airport when I land, aren’t you? It’s just my navigational skills are so shite, I’m likely never to be seen again if I use public transport.’

  ‘I am,’ Jason promised. He couldn’t wait to see her in person. Visualising the expanse of flesh he’d just seen, a definite thrill of anticipation ran through him.

  ‘Great. Well, I’d better go and get my beauty sleep.’ Jessie stifled a yawn. ‘Before I do, though, bucket lists.’

  ‘What?’ Jason asked bemusedly. He had a hard time keeping up with her sometimes. But then, he liked that about her, too: the fact that there were never any awkward silences between them.