The Marriage Trap: A completely addictive psychological thriller Page 13

  He doesn’t speak for a second. Then, ‘I’m sorry, Karla,’ he says quietly.

  Breathing shakily out, I face him. ‘For?’

  Jason scans my face and then drops his gaze to the floor. ‘Everything,’ he says, his tone ragged. ‘This. I can’t do this any more, Karla. I’m so sorry.’

  An icy dagger pierces my heart. ‘Do what?’ I ask, because I have to. I have to hear the words spill from his mouth before I can process the enormity of what he is telling me.

  ‘Us.’ He looks up, his expression anguished. ‘It’s not working, Karla. Things have become… too complicated. I think we should take some time. Take a step away from each other.’ He pulls in a tight breath and waits, as if for the onslaught.

  Take a step away? How far a step, Jason? How huge a step away from me is fucking other women? My anger simmers dangerously. I stare at him, too shocked by his calm announcement that he’s about to end our marriage, destroy my life and our children’s lives, to respond.

  ‘Complicated,’ I repeat eventually, my voice choked. ‘I see.’ I stifle a ridiculous urge to laugh.

  Jason says nothing. His eyes fixed to the floor, he pinches the bridge of his nose instead.

  ‘Are you seeing someone?’ I force the words past the shard of glass in my throat.

  ‘No.’ Jason looks quickly up. ‘I wouldn’t do that, Karla. I…’ Averting his gaze again, he trails hopelessly off, as if realising the absurdity of that statement.

  Liar!

  I stamp down the furious voice in my head, nodding instead as I assimilate, struggling against the urge to fly at him, to hit him, to keep hitting him until my strength fails me. ‘So’ – I take another deep breath in and try to contain the emotions warring inside me – ‘are you leaving?’

  I see his reluctance, his hesitancy, and I know what his answer will be. ‘Because if you are, it might be an idea to discuss how we’re going to explain to your children that they’re about to become fatherless suddenly.’ Holding his gaze, I short-circuit him, as he makes my worst nightmare a living reality.

  Jason closes his eyes. ‘I… don’t know.’ Emitting a heavy sigh, he moves away from the door at last, where no doubt he remained poised for flight should things turn ugly. ‘Do you want me to go?’ he asks, stepping towards me.

  He looks tentatively at me, and I realise this ball is in my court, for now. ‘You will eventually.’ I swallow hard, force the tears back.

  He nods, runs a hand over his face. ‘The kids,’ he says. ‘I just want to do what’s best for them. I don’t want to upset them.’

  Ha! Now I really want to laugh, until I break down and cry. But I won’t. I will do something at which I am well practised. I will detach from the emotion – from this, the most painful moment of my life. I will focus my energies on the fight, because I will fight for my marriage. Even though the battle might already be lost, I won’t give in easily. I will make him want me.

  ‘Stay,’ I say impassively. ‘For now.’

  I feel my husband’s surprised gaze following me as I walk calmly past him to the hall. ‘It’s different, Jason,’ I call back, as I mount the stairs to cry my tears in private. ‘As birthday surprises go, it’s definitely different.’

  TWENTY-THREE

  JASON

  Jason watched the display on the clock clicking over the hours before he finally fell asleep. He slept heavily, dark and dream-filled, until he woke with a start. Sure he’d heard a crash in the kitchen below, he scrambled out of bed and headed downstairs. He was aware that the reception he would get from Karla would be cool. She’d barely spoken to him in the week he’d been home. She wasn’t likely to want to speak to him, given the circumstances, but he was concerned – for her, for the effect all this would have on their children.

  Going into the kitchen, he found things were far from the usual organised chaos of a school morning. Karla was still in her dressing gown, picking up pieces of what appeared to be a broken plate from the floor, and Holly looked far from happy, slumped disgruntledly at the breakfast table.

  ‘I don’t even like honey,’ she moaned, curling a lip as she leaned in to pluck the spoon from the jar and watch the golden gloop drip from it.

  ‘Ugh, looks like snot.’ Josh, who was also still in his nightwear, looked up from his iPad to observe.

  ‘Holly…’ Sighing, Karla straightened up and pressed a hand to her forehead. ‘Just eat your toast, sweetheart, will you?’

  Holly flopped heavily back in her chair. ‘I don’t like toast,’ she scowled. ‘It’s burnt. Why can’t we have porridge? We always have porridge in the—’

  ‘Because there’s no milk!’ Karla snapped, and then, remorse flooding her face, she turned quickly away. ‘Eat your breakfast, please,’ she said, her voice strained, as she pushed the broken pieces of crockery into the bin.

  She was struggling not to cry, Jason realised. Guilt weighed heavily inside him. He watched hopelessly as, her belligerence deflating, Holly’s eyes also filled up. She wasn’t upset about the breakfast offerings, he was well aware. She was upset because Karla was upset, acting out of character. They both were. The kids could sense that things were far from right between them. How could they not?

  Knowing he was the cause of all this, and wary of making things worse, he walked hesitantly across to where Holly was now fiddling with the toast on her plate. It had been cremated and then scraped. She wasn’t going to eat it. ‘Go and grab a couple of biscuits and an apple, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘I’ll make sure to get some milk in for tomorrow.’

  ‘Dad to the rescue.’ Karla smiled shortly, brushing past him to get to the table. Jason didn’t miss the sarcasm in her voice. Nor, it seemed, did Holly. She watched her mum guardedly as she climbed off her chair and went to the biscuit barrel. Jason felt his heart drop. Now he’d announced that he wanted out of their marriage, he ought to just go – his being here wasn’t helping the situation – but he was growing more and more worried, which Karla would find laughable. He didn’t want to leave her like this. He didn’t actually have anywhere to go either. And, God help him, he didn’t want to. But there was no way he could stay. He’d agonised over whether to tell Karla about the news her loving father had delivered and had decided he just couldn’t. Certainly not without knowing whether her mother had any idea.

  ‘Josh?’ He walked around to ruffle his son’s hair, trying for some kind of normalcy; there’d been none since he’d walked back in to blow their lives apart. ‘Go and get some clothes on, tiger.’ He offered him a reassuring smile. ‘And then I’ll drive you to school.’

  Josh blinked up at him. ‘Can I take my iPad?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t see why not.’ Jason glanced questioningly across to Karla.

  ‘In the car, yes. Into school, no,’ Karla said, her despairing look communicating that he was countermanding an already laid-down rule. Jason made a mental note. Clearly Josh was pushing the boundaries too.

  ‘It’s not fair. Everyone else does.’ Nudging his glasses up his nose, Josh sighed and slid off his chair.

  ‘Everyone else doesn’t, Josh, as you very well know,’ Karla pointed out, collecting up plates from the table. ‘Now hurry up and get dressed, please. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.’

  ‘I won’t. You don’t have to keep flipping reminding me,’ Josh replied, his tone exasperated as he trudged into the hall.

  ‘And you need to learn a little respect, Josh Connolly,’ Karla warned him, which prompted a moody glare from Holly as she followed her brother out.

  Running his hand over his neck, Jason decided that not commenting might be prudent. ‘Are their lunches in the fridge?’ he asked instead.

  Karla stopped loading up the dishwasher and walked across to open the fridge. ‘Oh?’ she said, a puzzled look on her face as she gazed inside it. ‘The paid staff are slacking, obviously.’ She banged the door shut. ‘I’d sack them, if I were you. I mean, we wouldn’t want the lodger having to lift a finger to help out with the domestic c
hores, would we?’

  He’d asked for that, Jason supposed. ‘I’ll grab something on the way,’ he said quietly.

  ‘Good idea.’ Karla went back to the dishwasher. ‘You can grab something for dinner as well. I won’t be here.’

  ‘No problem.’ Jason furrowed his brow. ‘Are you out tonight then?’ he asked tentatively.

  ‘As it happens, yes,’ Karla said. She didn’t look at him. She hadn’t looked at him full on since he’d come back to casually break her heart. ‘I’m going into work this afternoon and then out straight after, so I won’t have time to cook,’ she informed him. ‘But it’s actually none of your business any more, what I do, is it?

  She was right. She had no obligation to share anything with him any more. Jason swallowed back a deep sense of grief.

  ‘God, now the dishwasher’s not working.’ Running her hands through her newly cropped hair, Karla fixed her gaze on the ceiling. ‘Why?’ she asked, her voice tight. ‘Why is this happening? What did I do – apart from fall in love with you – that was so wrong?’

  Her eyes were full of crushing hurt as they came back to his, and Jason knew he wasn’t wrong. Whatever Fenton had said – attempting to drive the last nail into the coffin – she hadn’t just stopped loving him. Had she?

  He watched a slow tear slide down her cheek, and his heart almost cracked inside him. ‘Karla, don’t.’ He wanted to reach out to her but stopped himself. ‘None of this is your fault.’

  ‘No?’ Karla did look at him then, her sharp blue eyes a kaleidoscope of bewildered emotion. ‘But it’s not your fault, is it, Jason?’ The facetious tone was back, along with bitter disillusionment. ‘I mean, you’re just such an all-round great guy. You would never do anything that might risk your marriage, would you? Risk ruining your children’s lives?’

  Dragging her gaze away from him, she turned to walk out of the kitchen, leaving Jason feeling like the worst hypocrite that ever walked the earth.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  JASON

  Jason had been relieved when Karla said she was going into work. She’d already taken most of the week off and, given how late it was this morning, and how pale she’d looked, he’d wondered whether she would. She needed to be able to function without him. He needed her to be able to function without him. Selfish it might be, but he had to know she would find the strength to fight back.

  ‘Got your bags, kids?’ he asked, glancing at them in the rear-view mirror as he pulled up outside the school.

  ‘Yeah,’ Holly said, sounding less than enthusiastic as she retrieved her rucksack from the footwell.

  ‘Josh?’ He turned to his son, whose attention was glued to his iPad. ‘You need to move it or you’ll be late.’

  ‘Yeah, coming.’ Jabbing at his game a few more times, Josh sighed and then reached half-heartedly for his seat belt.

  Neither of them was in the best of moods. Guessing he couldn’t blame them, Jason climbed out to hurry them on. ‘Tablet, Josh,’ he reminded him, as Josh slid from the car, still clutching it.

  ‘Aw, Dad.’ Josh’s shoulders slumped as he handed it reluctantly over. ‘Will you bring it when you come and collect us?’

  ‘I’ll bring it.’ Jason smiled tolerantly. He would quite like to have some conversation with him while they drove, but he supposed that Josh probably wouldn’t be very receptive anyway. ‘See you later.’

  Giving him a quick hug and ruffling his hair, he straightened his collar and then bent to kiss Holly. His heart skipped a beat, though, as she stepped away.

  ‘Holly?’ He eyed her questioningly.

  Looking uncomfortable, Holly glanced down and then nervously back at him. ‘Are you and Mum not friends any more?’ she asked, her expression a mixture of wariness and mistrust.

  Caught off guard, Jason had no idea how to answer. Realising that he and Karla wouldn’t easily be friends again was almost breaking him. Where would that leave their kids?

  ‘Your mum’s a bit upset with me,’ he said, knowing that much was pretty obvious but offering the only explanation he could. ‘It’s my fault, not hers. Give her a little time, Holly,’ he said, appealing to the adult in her, ludicrously. ‘It’s not you she’s angry with, I promise you.’

  ‘Did you do something really bad?’ Josh asked, his expression as uncertain as Holly’s.

  Jason took a breath and nodded. ‘Really bad,’ he admitted.

  Josh studied him, his forehead creasing into a worried frown. ‘Can you fix it?’ he asked him.

  If only. Jason felt his heart plummet. There was no way to fix it. ‘I’m trying,’ he said. It was all he had.

  ‘You should buy her some flowers,’ Josh decided, after a thoughtful second, which had Jason emitting a strangled laugh. He wanted to cry.

  ‘Maybe you could go out for a romantic meal,’ Holly suggested. ‘I promise not to stay up and watch crap stuff on Netflix if Megan comes and babysits.’

  ‘It’s a thought,’ Jason said, his throat tight. ‘I’ll ask her. So, do I get a hug?’ He shrugged hopefully. ‘Or…’

  He’d been about to ask if he was in her bad books, too, which wouldn’t have been fair, when Holly launched herself at him, giving him a very firm hug, which he badly needed.

  After watching until they were safely inside the school doors, he climbed back in his car and debated what to do as he headed for his office. Should he stay and cause Karla more pain, or should he go, which might allow her to interact somewhere near normally with the kids? Him not being there might also give the kids the opportunity to interact normally with her, it occurred to him. As things were, it seemed even Holly and Josh were walking on eggshells.

  As he pulled into the car park of Upwards Online, he was no nearer to knowing what to do for the best. He’d lost everything – his wife, his home. If he went, he would be losing touch with his children. He wasn’t sure he could bear that. He was also about to lose this, the company he’d struggled so hard to keep afloat. That much was certain.

  After parking up, Jason kneaded his eyes, then climbed out to head wearily for his office. He hadn’t been in there since the day of his meeting with Fenton, other than to drink himself paralytic. Mark and Rachel, who’d both been working 24/7 to try to fix the glitch in their program, would be wondering where the bloody hell he was and what he proposed to do. Jason had gone over it and over it, and the only conclusion he could come to was that there was no obvious solution. He wouldn’t be able to pay them for much longer, or meet his bank loan payments. He was stuffed. He needed to let Mark and Rachel know, and tell them to use the facilities to look for alternative employment.

  ‘Jase?’ Mark got to his feet as Jason walked into the main office, which was remarkable. Usually, a crowbar was all but required to prise him from in front of his computer. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ he asked him, sounding not too impressed.

  ‘We’ve been worried about you,’ Rachel picked up, from where she’d wheelied her office chair away from her PC.

  ‘Sorry.’ Jason offered her a small smile. ‘I had some things to sort out.’

  ‘Are you all right?’ Rachel stood up and walked across to him, her expression concerned. ‘You look like shit.’

  ‘Cheers, Rach.’ Jason laughed. ‘You do wonders for a man’s ego. I’m okay,’ he assured her, noting that she actually looked extremely concerned. He should have spoken to them sooner. He couldn’t have. He’d been incapable of thinking coherently, let alone communicating.

  ‘Could’ve fooled me,’ Mark said, narrowing his eyes as he looked him over. ‘That place stank like a bloody distillery after the last time you were in.’ He nodded towards Jason’s office.

  ‘Yeah. I, er… Drowning my sorrows.’ Jason shrugged an apology. He wasn’t about to share why he’d consumed enough whisky to risk alcohol poisoning – not all of it anyway. He needed to convey the outcome of his meeting with Robert Fenton though. He’d been going to do that straightaway, but then he and Karla had ended up having a blazing row in front of
them. He just hadn’t had the heart since, for anything. ‘I need to have a word,’ he started reluctantly. ‘About the financial backing I was hoping to secure.’

  ‘We know,’ Mark said, before he could continue. ‘Paul Edwards called.’

  The key client who’d gone elsewhere? Jason looked at him curiously.

  ‘He was also worried about you,’ Rachel supplied.

  ‘Decent of him.’ Jason tried not to, but he couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit cynical. An extra week was all they’d needed to get the customer-fronting software right, he’d been sure of it. He’d asked Edwards to give him a few days. The guy had turned him down. But then, that was business, he guessed. ‘And?’ Sighing, he pulled up a chair. Exhaustion was catching up with him. If he didn’t sit down, he was sure he’d fall over.

  ‘He told us, confidentially, that your delightful father-in-law had backed Logic Solutions,’ Mark went on, his expression now bordering on contempt.

  Jason flinched inwardly at the mention of the man as his father-in-law. ‘Right.’ He tugged in a breath. ‘So you know we’re stuffed then? That is, I am,’ he clarified. ‘You two need to be looking around. Use whatever you need to here, and if something comes up, grab it. You don’t need to work any notice. That goes without saying.’

  Feeling emotional, Jason stopped. Mark had turned down the offer of a well-paid position to work with him. Rachel and Mark had always given more than one hundred per cent. Jason felt as if he was stuffing them both.

  ‘Finished?’ Mark asked, pushing his hands into his pockets.

  Jason smiled ruefully. ‘It definitely looks that way.’

  ‘Not quite,’ Mark said, walking across to perch himself on the edge of the desk. ‘How would you feel about me buying the business?’

  It took a second for that to register, then, ‘What?’ Jason squinted at him.

  ‘Delirious, obviously.’ Mark clearly noted his incredulity.

  ‘I’m…’ Jason shook his head. ‘I’m confused. I mean, how?’ Mark didn’t have the finances. With a divorce behind him, the only asset he had was his flat.